Selfish
by BregoArodShadowfax
Summary: Maybe for once, Enjolras could stand to be just a little selfish. Maybe, he thought, as he stared at the boy next to him, young and hopeful and full of dreams and life and love, he already has been. Enjolras/Marius


**Title:** Selfish  
**Fandom: **Les Miserables  
**Author:** AoiTsukikage  
**Rating:** R-ish, I suppose  
**Characters/Pairing:** Enjolras/Marius  
**Chapter:** 1/1  
**Word Count:** 2275

**Warnings: **I have not written fic for this fandom in about five years, and back then I didn't write anything resembling smut. So tread carefully. For anybody that remembers me, hello! I don't know if I'll write much for the fandom, but the movie has rekindled my love of the work, so there's that :)

**Summary****: **Maybe for once, Enjolras could stand to be just a little selfish.

Maybe, he thought, as he stared at the boy next to him, young and hopeful and full of _dreams_ and _life_ and _love_, he already has been.

**Selfish**

It was late by the time the last of them had stumbled of the cafe, to go home to study, perhaps, or perhaps just to find female companionship for the night (Enjolras could fairly easily divide his acquaintances between the two categories, but then, most people no doubt could even after knowing them for a short period of time). He knew by all rights that he should be getting home as well but the fact that Marius was still here, tapping his fingers idly against a tabletop, gave him pause.

It was wrong. He knew it was wrong. But then, they were already going against God and country by even doing so much as daring to plan an insurrection, so one more black mark on his record wasn't going to be the difference between Heaven or Hell.

He had a feeling that was long decided already.

"Marius," he kept his tone steady, needing to make sure the cafe was truly deserted, and the younger man turned to him with a bit of a dreamy expression as Enjolras fought to keep a smile from creeping onto his face. He cared for the other man, surely, and he was perhaps more affectionate than he should be even in public, but Marius had an uncanny ability to make others want to open up to him.

Even ones as guarded as Enjolras was in his everyday life.

"Are they gone?" Marius asked, dark hair falling in his eyes as he chanced a look around the empty room. "I swear, it takes them longer to leave each time we meet here."

"Good drink and good company, I suppose," Enjolras crossed the room, his boots loud on the wooden floor, and leaned his elbows on the table Marius was currently occupying.

"Mm, are you making a point, sir?" Marius raised an eyebrow and laughed a little, hiding his smile behind a hand as Enjolras nodded sagely. The table was covered with papers that Marius vaguely brushed aside, glancing down at them. "Jehan's, no doubt. I shall return them to him tomorrow," he said vaguely, his eyes looking anywhere but at Enjolras directly now.

"Young poet, talking about love," Enjolras shrugged one shoulder, because he knew Prouvaire's work well enough by now. The boy was brilliant in his own way but if his head were any more in the clouds his feet would no longer be on the ground. "But then, you yourself are rather enamored with the concept, are you not? Love?" he tried to keep the scorn out of his voice but it always crept in somehow when that topic was broached.

"Perhaps. Being a romantic is not a crime, Enjolras," Marius looked abashed, and Enjolras was reminded again of just how young this boy was. Still a man, but only just, and perhaps there were only a few years between them, but it seemed like an insurmountable climb sometimes.

"No, maybe it is not, but it is detrimental to the cause," Enjolras easily slipped back into the old argument as Marius all but rolled his eyes. "I know you are a dreamer, and that you think true love is waiting around the corner..."

"It is. I believe it is," Marius interjected, his eyes wide and passionate and God in Heaven, what did Enjolras do in his life to deserve feeling something for this...this boy dreamer that occupied his thoughts more often than he rightly should? "And I believe you are capable of feeling it as well. You may pass yourself off as being as unmovable as a statue, but you are only human."

"Indeed," Enjolras nodded, a hint of a smile playing about his lips. Marius was no fool, and it was times like these Enjolras knew what he had seen in him: smart, yet lost in his thoughts much of the time. A dreamer, but realistic enough when it came to it. Calm, but quick on his feet and extremely passionate when the moment called for it.

Yes, there could have been far worse people for him to turn his eye to. And at least, for now, Marius felt much the same.

Enjolras knew that would change, though. This? This was temporary. And since some days he was quite convinced he would not live to see thirty, perhaps that was for the best.

"But why are you hanging about? You could go search for this love you are looking for," Enjolras leaned on the table, stretching his arm out as Marius' eyes followed his every move.

"Courfeyrac. It is early enough yet that he will have brought a girl home, and that place is too small for it to be...comfortable when he is...engaging in those activities," Marius was blushing, biting his lip as he looked up, and Enjolras barked a quick laugh.

"I thought you were a lover of love," his voice was dry, and Marius gave him a look of utter disbelief.

"Enjolras, I don't need to tell you: there is a marked difference between falling in love and sleeping with a different girl every night. While I do not judge Courfeyrac for fulfilling his...rather frequent physical needs, to me there just...has to be _more," _his voice took on that soft, breathy quality that told Enjolras he was getting lost in his own head, and he knew he had to pull him out of that.

This game was familiar to them, this song-and-dance they seemed to have to engage in every time they met like this, and by all rights it should not even work between them at all, but it did.

Somehow.

"And what of us, then?" the question needed to be asked and so he asked it, and Marius shrugged his shoulders a little awkwardly, leaning back against the table and smiling. He was still growing into his body, Enjolras thought with an almost dismissive glance. A boy in men's clothing, a little too awkward and ungainly, but he knew that it would not take much for him to turn a girl's head.

"What _of _us? I must admit, I have never quite...understood, why out of all the people in this city, you would choose me. You...you would be able to have any girl you wanted with just a snap of your fingers, and yet you persist with...with me," his smile was forced now and it was bringing up something Enjolras would rather not think about, so he strode around the table and leaned in close, feeling Marius shudder under him. "What is your reason?"

"My reason?" Enjolras scoffed, trying to dismiss the query entirely. "I did not think I needed one. I trust you, and I feel that we understand each other well enough for this to work. I feel...protective of you, somehow, but I am certainly not whimsical enough to see this as anything other than it is. I will freely admit that the human body has needs, Marius, as much as I do not see myself settling down with anybody or, God forbid, losing my ability to contribute to the cause because of love," he was even closer now, perhaps too close, and he could see Marius' throat bob when he swallowed.

"No, but then...love works in odd ways. Who can say who chooses who? If it is fate, or luck, or happenstance. But I do know..."

Enjolras by this time had had entirely enough of Marius' words, and although bantering with the young man was enjoyable, that was not what they were here for tonight.

"You know what?" he pressed, close as he could get without their bodies touching, and Marius' lips trembled as he stared straight into Enjolras' eyes. He was close enough that Enjolras could count every freckle scattered across his nose and cheekbones, and he moved closer still, barely any room between them now.

"I know..." Marius seemed incapable of speech and that was more than acceptable, because Enjolras was not sure he wanted to hear what the young man knew. He closed the scant distance between them and pressed his lips to the other man's, feeling Marius sigh into his mouth. "You seem to be trying to distract me," he murmured throatily, the tension seeping out of his body as he leaned back against the table. "I do not think that tactic will work with your enemies."

"Will it not?" Enjolras hardly knew what he was doing when he was around the other man like this, feeling that a strange force had overtaken his body and turned him into a creature that Courfeyrac would no doubt applaud. "Pity," he leaned in again for a longer kiss, wondering at the sensation because it hardly meant anything emotional to him, but he had been told that it was acceptable behavior for...situations such as this.

Not that this was new, by any means, but each time he felt as unsure and hesitant as he had the first time they had tried this, and he was not sure what that meant.

"You...hmm...it _is_ effective, to say the least," Marius' hand came up to tangle in his hair, tilting his head as he panted harshly against the other man's lips, and when Enjolras finally moved so that their bodies were touching entirely the young man let out a tiny, pleased sound and set his other hand in the small of Enjolras' back to hold him close. "But I have to...admit, I am flattered that I am the only one you have chosen to let see you like this."  
"I thought I was only human?"  
"You are still exceptional," Marius' voice was high and breathy again, but this time Enjolras knew it was for a different reason than being lost in his own head, and he felt the slow burning feelings start to slide through his own body as he kissed the young man again.

"I do not...is it..." Marius spoke between kisses, eyes darting around.

"We will not be disturbed, trust me," Enjolras pulled his focus back to himself, needing Marius to stay with him, and he slid a hand between their bodies to cup the front of the other man's trousers as Marius tried to stifle his exclamations. "But it would be best if you keep quiet nonetheless."

"Kiss me, then," Marius urged, and Enjolras was not going to deny him that. He moved his hand away to grip Marius' hips, pushing him against the table and slotting their bodies together in a move that was almost too familiar at this point. Marius' fingers were clenched in his hair, almost painful but not quite, and he tore his mouth away to suck in a deep breath as Enjolras began to move faster, letting the needs of his oh-so-human body overtake his normal control.

Marius was keeping admirably quiet, biting his lip and seeming to trust that Enjolras was not about to stop, and he managed to slide a hand down and un=tuck the older man's shirt from his trousers, his hand venturing up to rest on Enjolras' stomach. "Can I...is that..."

"Fine," Enjolras got out between gritted teeth, because he knew that while both of them tried to keep this impersonal it was evidently hard for Marius to think of this as just merely relief. And perhaps he was right, but Enjolras was hardly going to think too hard on that at the present moment. "Just..." he clutched at Marius' hips tightly, feeling himself nearing his end, and from the way Marius' hand in his hair grasped even harder he knew that he was not alone in this.

"Are you..." Marius gasped and Enjolras kissed him again, but just to be safe (or, at least, that is what he would tell himself if he ever were to think on it) as he pressed forward once more and closed his eyes, letting himself for a brief moment get lost in the feeling of his climax. He could feel Marius shudder against him, fingers curling against the bare skin of his chest, before the hand in his hair dropped away and their kiss broke.

They were both panting, unkempt and dirty, and Enjolras had to admit to himself that maybe he enjoyed these rare moments of boyish humanity more than he might let himself accept on a daily basis.

"So," he swallowed, unwilling to move away or break the moment. "You say that you are quite sure that Courfeyrac will be otherwise occupied tonight?"

"Are you inviting me over?" Marius pulled back enough to look him in the eye and the older man nodded sharply, getting a small, timid smile from his companion. "Then I accept. And I am rather glad we are both wearing dark trousers today or the fiacre driver might have some strange questions to ask," he laughed, his body loose in Enjolras' arms, and Enjolras finally stepped away so that he could collect himself a little and grab his coat.

"I am sure, driving these streets, they have seen worse. Come," he reached out a hand and Marius took it after getting his own coat, settling for leaving his arm draped around Enjolras' shoulders as they walked out onto the street.

One day, Enjolras thought, Marius would find a girl. He would fall so deeply in love he would scarcely be able to imagine not ever being with her, or a time in his life when she was not a part of it.

But it was not this day, and maybe for once, Enjolras could stand to be just a little selfish.

Maybe, he thought, as he stared at the boy next to him, young and hopeful and full of _dreams_ and _life_ and _love_, he already has been.

***End Note: **Yes, I used to write these two (probably very badly) years ago. Yes, I realize this could only happen in the musical/movie since in the book they barely interact and don't really seem to get each other very well, but for obvious reasons I prefer the musical/movie version when it comes to the depiction of their relationship ;) However, the rest of the boys I take from the book because the musical doesn't really flesh them out enough and I quite love all of their characters. Reviews are always appreciated :) I also have not written anything other than Glee for at least a year and a half, maybe longer, so this style was hard to get into again and I hope I did an acceptable job!


End file.
